October 26, 2012

What happened on Sunday, October 14th?
(Part 1)

I am convinced now more then ever that the enemy didn't want my testimony to be seen or heard.  The enemy is out to steal, kill, and destroy, but greater is He that is in me then He that is in the world.

The last few weeks have been extremely difficult for me physically. There have been issues with my diabetes, migraines, balance, sleep, neuropathy, and everything in between.

In the weeks prior to the baptism my blood sugars started crashing and I had begun having 'episodes'.

I am a Type II diabetic, the trigger for my having diabetes was the use of steroids.  Several years ago (before being diagnosed with COPD), I was having problems recovering from a bout of either bronchitis or pneumonia (I don't remember which).  As a last resort the doctors had to put me on large dose of steroids (100mg daily).  I was finally able to breathe but a few months later I was diagnosed with diabetes.

When my sugars recently began crashing it would happen 2 - 3 times a week, they would range anywhere from the 40's - 60's.  To make a long story short, I'm still working on getting the diabetes under control; I've gone from taking 100 units of Lantus (long lasting insulin) daily to about 20 units daily.  Sometimes that's still too much and some times it's not enough.  It's still a work in progress, my doctors are working on this with me but currently feel this is the least of my worries.

I initially went to the doctor a few weeks ago for the diabetes but while I was there I had an episode.  An episode for me means getting very tired, dizzy, migraines, leaning (falling but not to the ground), numbness in the upper extremities and face, difficulty in speaking, etc...  The doctor immediately asked me to start doing some simple tests, finger to nose, fingers to thumb, standing with eyes closed, and vision; I failed each one.  She told me that she thought I was having a series of TIA's and that she was sending me in for a CT scan.

The next day I went in for the scan and praise God it didn't show anything.  The episodes continued as they had been for the last several weeks.  I chalked it up to my cervical spinal injuries and the migraines that I was experiencing on a daily basis.  The doctor explained to me that she was certain I was experiencing TIA's; she continued on that if the episodes occurred more frequently or the symptoms didn't diminish within a couple hours that I was to go to the emergency room.

Meanwhile we began some serious work focusing on the blood sugars, just in case the wide range in my numbers was the cause of these episodes.

By this time the day had come for my baptism, I was determined that the enemy wasn't going to win this fight; the baptism took place as planned on October 7th, what a glorious time it was.  (Click here to see the baptism)

The following week was tough, everyday was a fight and most days I just stayed in bed.  Finally it was Sunday again, I was really excited and wanted to join my church family in worshiping our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

I was even more excited because I knew that once church was over I was going to post an entry in this blog with both my written baptism and the video.

The thing was, I just didn't feel good... I so badly wanted to climb back into bed, but then I heard the Lord speak to my heart.  So softly and gently He said, "You need to go to church, nobody is at home with you, if you go to church you will be surrounded by people if something happens".

A friend of mine picked me up and I got in her car... about half way to church my left foot started shaking and I thought 'I sure hope this stops before we get to church'.  It did and once we got to church I was able to go inside and see my church family, at the same time I was able to greet those who were baptized with me just one week before.

All of a sudden I became tired, not just tired but exhausted, I felt an episode coming on.  I didn't say anything to anyone but I thought, 'I just want to go home and go to bed', I knew I couldn't, church hadn't even started yet.   I decided to stay seated during the service, I was too tired to stand during praise and worship, again I thought, 'I just want to go home, if I stay seated I'll be okay'.

And then at one point things changed... one of the men in our church was teaching that morning and he said to turn to the book of Ezekiel in the Bible.  I couldn't find it, I was becoming irritated with myself, I thought, 'I know where Ezekiel is, why I can't I find it'.  Then I realized that I couldn't keep up with taking notes (the last thing I wrote down was John 10:1), I closed my Bible and put it next to me.  I remember thinking that I just need to get through church and then I can go home.

And just that quick things changed again... I thought "I need to tell someone that I don't feel good'.  But by then I knew that I couldn't simply get up and walk out of church, I knew that I would require assistance.  My mind was going back and forth, I should tell my friend sitting next to me, no, I didn't want to upset her, she had recently lost her husband.  I should tell the couple in front of me, no, I don't want to cause a disturbance, I'll just wait.

But then everything changed again, this time it went from me thinking about telling someone 'I don't feel good' to hoping that someone will realize that something is wrong with me.

I tried to move my arms but they just fell to my sides, I tried to focus my eyes on another friend in church (trying to catch her attention) but she was very attentively listening to every word being shared from the pulpit.

My head dropped, I tried to lift it up, I couldn't, I tried to lift my head again and again, still nothing, and then... well, I don't remember anything after that.

Another friend of mine (Nancy), sitting across the sanctuary noticed that I wasn't moving, she said that I looked like I was slumped over and was asleep.

The service was still going on at this point when she got up out of her seat and came over to me.  She told me that she took my hand and asked me if I was okay, she started slapping my hand, calling my name louder and stronger.

When I didn't respond she immediately got one of the nurses who attends our church, and then, almost as if it had been planned,  my church family went into motion.  I was told that it was like watching a finely turned orchestra perform, one that was led by the great conductor, our Heavenly Father.

What happened next... you'll have to wait until my next entry.  I will tell you that I don't remember anything that happened over the next few hours so I will be counting on others to piece it together for me.  That said... if you were at church on Sunday write me a note and tell me what you remember.  I'll put the puzzle pieces together and write it up for the next entry.

I learned something that day...
There were four times that morning (that I'm aware of) when God spoke to someones heart and their obedience may have saved my life.

1)  When God told me to go to church and not to stay at home because I would be surrounded by others.
2)  Before church something made Nancy take note of where the nurses in our church were seated (I believe that something was God speaking to her).
3)  When God nudged Nancy and had her glance over to me during the service.
4)  And then again, when He spoke to her telling her to get up, go over to me and check on me.

Something I want you to learn...
If God speaks to your heart, no matter how insignificant or ridiculous it might seem to you, be obedient.  You never know when you will save someones life, either literally, figuratively, or for eternity.